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Resolution, Not Conflict. Number one on the list of exit doors from marriage used to be an affair. At the same time, falling out of love is being taken increasingly seriously—with "growing apart" now ranking above more dramatic causes of divorce like physical abuse, bad behavior, and financial worries.
Falling out of love involves a gradual loosening of pair-bonding energies focused on your partner, and reinvestment of these energies. Fortunately though, growing apart is not a death sentence for a relationship. As I've written about in an earlier post, healthy relationships typically accordion in and outHos both periods of increased closeness and periods of distance.
The key is to heed signs of excessive distance and do something to bring a return of connection. Usually, couples can do this on their own; if not, some form of counseling can help.
Try this self-quiz to rate yourself on 10 warning signs of growing apart that merit particular attention. Any 3's mean danger ahead. Fortunately, if oby catch these warning signs early—and especially if you add a quick upgrade to your communication-skills toolkit—you will be likely to succeed in keeping your bonds of connection intact.
The Falling Out of Love Warning Signs Quiz
Growing apart can reflect a switch from interest in shared time and activities—including sexual sharing—to one or both partners turning outside the marriage for friendshipfun, and emotional connection.
Drug use, high-risk sportsreligious or political dedication to ideas that are not embraced by both partners, or association with friends that the partner distrusts, for instance, can open ever-widening canyons between partners. Couples do best if they can talk, play, and make love together in ways that renew their positive connection. Insufficient together time, even from purely practical impediments, can also lead to growing apart. ❶He is one of my friends. Then my friend asked if he likes me and he said in a soft voice no.
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Does decreased intensity of "those loving feelings" mean the end is near?
Or on the other hand would you simply like to reaffirm your affection? Going on a picnic.
Cooking a meal. Watching movies.]